2 STATES.. Music by Shankar, Ehsaan & Loy.. Lyrics by Amitabh Bhattacharya..

Offo.. Sung by Aditi Singh Sharma, Amitabh Bhattacharya..

Dil ka dimaag se
Jhagda lagaaya kise
Peechhe ke darwaaze se
Dabe paanv aaya kaise
Thoda sa kameena
Thoda bechara hai
Ishq bhoot sahi par yeh
Bhoot bada hi pyaara hai

Offo! Isey isey daant ke bhagaaun
Offo! Ya ya seene se lagaaun
Sar pe bithaaun, ya thappad lagaaun

Dekho leke aaya hai
Pocket mein sharaaratein
Tere jaisi hai zara
Iski bhi aadatein
Upar se garam hai
Andar se naram hai
Thoda shareef bhi hai thoda
Thoda sa besharam ha

Hairat ko bhi hairaaniyaan hone lagi
Ab hosh mein nadaaniyan hone lagi
Baithe hain dil ek dillagi pe haar ke
Mehangi badi manmaaniyan hone lagi

Yaari ke bahaane kandha sehlaata hai
Phir mauka milte hi ye par phailata hai
Haathon ke paar hi iska ishara hai
Ishq bhoot sahi par ye bhoot bada hi pyara hai


Locha-e-Ulfat (Problem of Love).. Sung by Benny Dayal..

Iklauta mera dil tha
Bhola-bhaala simple tha
Tujhse main takraya
Sarphira ho gaya
Mujhe pyaar laga jo
Tujhe laga bhai-chara
Armaan to jaage
Main magar so gaya

Banke museebat
Peeche padi hai
Yeh comedy hai
Yaa tragedy hai
Naa hona tha kyun ho gaya
Locha-e-Ulfat ho gaya

Tere mere do nazariye
Nazdeeq hain lekin
Ik baal barabar beech mein line hai
Chubhta hi rehta hai
Gadta hi rehta hai
Tujhe fark nahi hai
Tu badi fine hai

Yeh haal behuda hai
Kis mood mein khuda hai
Kyun dil ki dhadkanon se
Mazey mein khele ye ludo sanjhaao
Kya khaaq dosti hai
Daftar ki naukri hai
Karne ko dil nahi hai magar kare jaaun..

Tere aane se pehle theek tha
Ab murjhaya sa jaise koi phool hoon
Pehle tha banda kitna kaam ka
Khaali refill jaisa ab fizool hoon
Raaton ko.. main jaagun, main jaagun
Saari neende,
Woh le gayi.. chura ke, chura ke
Soun toh.. khwabon ki khwabon ki
Khidkiyon se.. aake phir jhaanke
Chal tu hi batlaa de na


Mast Magan.. Sung by Arijit Singh, Chinmayi Sripada..

Ishq ki dhooni roz jalaaye
Uthta dhuaan toh kaise chhupaaye

Ho akhiyaan kare jee hazoori
Maange hai teri manzoori
Kajra siyaahi, din rang jaaye
Teri kastoori rain jagaaye
Man mast magan, man mast magan
Bas tera naam dohraaye
Man mast magan, man mast magan
Tera naam dohraaye

Chaahe bhi toh bhool na paaye

Jogiya jog lagake
Makhra rog lagaa ke

Odh ke dhaani reet ki chaadar
Aaya tere shehar mein Ranjha tera
Duniya zamaana, jhoota fasaana
Jeene marne ka waada saancha mera

Ho.. sheesh-mehal na mujhko suhaaye
Tujh sang sookhi roti bhaaye


Iski Uski.. Sung by Shahid Mallya, Akriti Kakar..

Aa aa aah.. hor hor wadhiya

Punjab da puttar, hai pind Jalandhar
Yaar wai wai ankhiyon se kill karda
King type da, hai tang life da
Yaar wai wai khetan vich chill karda
Do it my my way, nahi te Highway
Inko farak yaaron ki penda
Iski uski kaun kiski yaaran da imaan whisky
Uspe chicken ho to hor wadhiya
Pretty Pretty face jitthe jatta always utthe
Maamla done ho to hor wadhiya

Punjabi idli, na pate easily
Yaar wai wai ungli pe nachaundi ai
Point-blank te encounter kardi
Yaar wai wai jab lakk matkandi ai
Left te dinky, right te pinky
Kudiyan di fashion parade lag gayi

Haan tu te Punjabi teri yun na baja mundeya
Vaadon mein wazan kitna tere,
pehle bata mundiya

Jatta da commitment legal document
Stamp mar ke paper vich will karda oye


Chaandaniya.. Sung by K. Mohan, Yashita Sharma..

Tujh bin suraj mein aag nahi re
Tujh bin koyal mein raag nahi re
Chaandaniya to barse
Phir kyun mere haath andhere lagde ne

Haa tujh bin phaagun mein phaag nahi re
Haa tujh bin jaage bhi jaag nahi re
Tere bina.. o mahiya
Din dariya, rain jazeere lagde ne
Adhoori adhoori adhoori kahaani, adhoora alvida
Yunhi yunhi rah na jaaye adhoore sadaa

O Chaandaniya to barse
Phir kyun mere haath andhere lagde ne
Kedi teri naraazgi
Gal sun le raaz ki
Jism ye kya hai, khokhli seepi
Rooh da moti hai tu
Garaz ho jitni teri
Badle mein jindadi meri
Mere saare bikhre suron se geet piroti hai tu
O mahiya.. tere sitam, tere karam
Dono lutere lagde ne

Hulla Re.. Sung by Shankar Mahadevan, Siddharth Mahadevan..

Hulla Re..

Dulhan ton matching dulha re
Hulla Re..
Hai saadi akhaan de taare
Hulla Re..
Nagaade sang Shehnai‎ Shehnai‎
Pee pee baaje re
Mohalle saj gaye ne, saj gaye ne
Saj gaye ne chaubaare
Hulla Re..

Haay phoonk tandoor te chulha re
Hulla Re...
Dulhan ton matching dulha re
Hulla Re...
Ik chhori kataari
Munda tezz shikari
Rasme tod-tad ke hungama kar de
Kundli ki laqeeron pe mohabbat bhaari
Jumle jod-jaad ke afsaana padh de

(Tamil Part)
Yengal paanai ponguthadi,
kaathal kolam pesuthadi
Yengal mapillai in madarasi penne
Nadukil paadum paate thedi
kaathal kaala odum
pidichaala pidipattana ponne

Umangein jhoolein jhoola re, Hulla Re!
Dulhan to... Hulla Re..

Ab dhol khabbe sajje
Sab khol ke darwajje
Subah ke haathon mehndi lag gayi
Banno dulaari dakhni
Banne ke tevar makhni
Udte naino ki dono ko patangbaazi mehngi pad gayi

(Tamil Part)
Oru madisaara banginaniku kedachaane punjaabi
Ini kutcheri il bhalle bhalle aattam
Iva panchavecha nattil oru lungiyudan kathal
ini mambazhathin ambalava ambalavim mambazham gudiyaaa..

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

The depth of love comes from the rigidity of heart. A bond between a man and a woman tends to be so personal that it can never be analysed utilitarian way. My point being, you can never guess the reasons why we "love" someone. Why the feelings are not categorized as "like" or why he/she cannot be considered a friend. Hence it would be stupidity to try to define which can be called love and which does not qualify. Moreover the ultimate pleasure is to love than to be loved. But the sweetness of love fills your heart only if it turns to beautiful bond between two. True, heart feels secure when the feelings are mutual and relationship starts on a balanced note, but pursuing unrequited love with silence only kills your soul slowly and a painful question of what-if for the rest of your life.

This time I got nothing to give a verdict on, the poll is right there and anyone can see the results. May be I should have added a "I don't like this question" option. It would have been different. It might be fine looking at it like, only 1/3rd people said Yes. But, thinking of how they might have been hurt in the process, makes us wish the percentage to be zero. I just wanted people to pound on this question.

I used to attend keyboard classes. I had to travel twice a week for two hours in a car. The driver and I never talk (don't go creepy). He drops me off and waits. I get off without a word. But, I am sure whenever we meet in a different setting, we would recognize and smile. I can vouch that if he needed any help regarding his kids' weddings or profession, I would be of full support. If I am getting married, he would be invited and bless me. These relationships are fine like that in silence. Because it does not need any action per se. While you are lost in someone's thoughts or its rendering you sleepless, you need an action to put yourselves to rest. Hope you have the courage to do it and the patience to share the feelings if things turn favorable.

Psychologists say that the person who rejects someone's love interest might be equally tortured in the process. If you are in that position, only thing you have to do is to not patronize. Only people with self-worth and good self-esteem take the opportunity to express love to someone, even if it might lead to rejection. The only decent thing to do when you can't reciprocate their feelings is to let them go.

Happy Valentines Day Folks!! Remember, Tomorrow is just another day. And also its never a bad day to tell someone you love them.

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unrequited_love
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/dealing-with-rejection_b_3705663.html?ir=India
http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-reasons-you-cant-say-how-you-feel/0002167
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thriving101/201102/brain-study-reveals-secrets-staying-madly-in-love
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro03/web2/csmiga.html
http://amolife.com/reviews/top-20-most-famous-love-stories-in-history-and-literature.html
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/unrequited-love

Valentine Week - 2

“Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” 

― James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

“...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.” 

― Elle Newmark, The Book of Unholy Mischief

“sometimes no matter how many eyelashes or dandelion seeds you blow, no matter how much of your heart you tear out and slap on your sleeve, it just ain't gonna happen.” 

― Melissa Jensen, The Fine Art of Truth or Dare

Taking from wiki, unrequited can be two types. One where the object of affection is aware of the feelings and does not reciprocate and the other where he/she is not even aware. My concentration is only second, however I want to dedicate a post for the first too.

Though the remedies listed are not quite appealing, here's a post on dealing with Rejection I found,

"Rejection comes as one of the most brutal stakes to the heart because it deals a direct blow to our ego. The ego is the inherent part of the self which holds intact our pride, esteem and self-worth. When the ego is bruised, a core element of our being is damaged. We often feel reduced to a lesser versions of ourselves. We automatically begin to blame ourselves, assuming there must be something wrong with us and criticizing the behavior that led to our rejection.

Of the many forms of rejection, being denied by a love interest is most agonizing. We are grieved by a deep sense of bitterness and spite, both against the other person and against ourselves. Ironically, though, we feel an inexplicable sense of longing -- a stronger desire towards the rejecter than ever before. As a psychologist, I've seen many become stuck in a cycle of voluntary, unrequited love. The more they were rejected, the more they "wanted" the person rejecting them. They refused to give up. Whether this strange phenomenon stems from a prehistoric gene, or it's that we're slightly masochistic, is difficult to say. What's certain, however, is that rejection can cause cycles of unhealthy emotions and behavior.

The strange chemistries of the universe work thus -- the less you care about a person, the more they care about you. And the more you care about a person, the less they seemingly care about you. It is nothing short or ironic, and sadly, most anyone who's ever been in love can vouch. Understanding the chemistry of rejection begins with acknowledging our undeniable value as human beings. To change our perceived impression of rejection, we must first solidify our self-worth." - Dr. Carmen Harra

Also, the imagination supplies enough of perfection to the "relationship", while truth is entirely different. There are primarily three reasons why we still seek out the person who rejected our love.

1. Hope - This might not be the end.
2. Masochism - I gain pleasure in the hurt caused by love
3. Stubbornness - I can't change my heart

I have spent hours in finding what to say to deal with this. From research and personal exposure, the only thing I feel is, this should be not different to a break-up. Every rule applies the same. Get hurt, get away from the person, get involved in other things. Recover and Relive and Relove.

Valentine Week - 3

If no couple starts their story like Laila and Majnun and take a long time to be on the same page, every love must be unrequited at some point right? Let's dig deep into why specifically unrequited love exists. I have come across many sites but there was not much depth. Psychcentral however deciphered the fears in expressing feelings. So here's my modification to our concept.

Fear of changing Status Quo - If you are best friends, you fear losing the existing bond. If you are a colleague, classmate, family friend, you fear losing the current way things are. In short, you fear things might get weird

Fear of losing Ego - Freud might be wrong in many things but I agree with him in the importance of "Id". We might differ in extent but on the whole, ego dictates many of our doings. Expressing ourselves in general itself considered a weak trait in many cultures.

Fear of hurting oneself - Fear of rejection, the most common reason for hiding one's feelings

Hopelessness - There is no point in acting on something which we know is doomed before it even starts, there goes the hopelessness. If the amount of pessimism attached to one's feelings are higher than usual, the tendency is that it leads to unrequited love. Also, low self-esteem can be considered reason for hopelessness

Valentine Week - 4

'Platonic friendships provide a fertile soil for unrequited love'

The time comes when I have to finally talk about friendship and love differentiation. 

Here's what a recent study gotta say.

Friendship-Based Love vs. Romantic Love - The research evidences a surprising difference between romantic love and friendship-based love. In order to understand these differences, we must first understand the distinction between "wanting" and "liking." Research has suggested that wanting and liking are two different motivations, which are mutually exclusive. The results of the study show that romantic/passionate love is associated with the dopamine-rich systems characteristic of wanting, while friendship-based love related to the brain areas high in opiates characteristic of liking. The data suggest that romantic love is a motivation or a drive based on wanting, focused on a specific target, rather than a feeling or emotion.

Another study says, 

Men and Women Can't be Just Friends - The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.

Men were also more willing to act on this mistakenly perceived mutual attraction. Both men and women were equally attracted to romantically involved opposite-sex friends and those who were single; “hot” friends were hot and “not” friends were not, regardless of their relationship status.  However, men and women differed in the extent to which they saw attached friends as potential romantic partners.  Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else. 

Two main drawbacks of these two are,

1. It still does not speak neurologically about why we confuse friendship with love sometimes

2. The studies are not from India and the emotions are always highly cultural dependent

Nevertheless, this is a vast area of research and I must be very bold to call myself a amateur too. Came across a clear line explaining all that needs to be understood,

The first stage of romantic love begins with attraction. Whether you have been best friends for a long time or you just met the person, you begin your romantic relationship when there is that feeling of attraction.

So, you get to decide if you want to seek out if this can happen in your friendship.

Valentine Week - 5

“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” 
― Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma

So let's see. How often do you think, what if?

This is a letter from a movie, "Letters to Juliet" Leave aside the eternity of true love, it only scares the hell out of you. Focus on the message of having courage to seize your love.

The main difference between this year and the 2009 survey of expression of love is, how do you handle a love that is not reciprocated. Do you whine and complain? Do you step up and find what's up? Whatever you do, make sure you do not wonder what-if.

Valentine Week - 6

I tried so hard but could not find people talking about unrequited love in a sensible way. So, I revisited my collection of love stories in an earlier post to understand how love happens.

20. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert - Their story started with marriage, hence it would be completely difficult to decode their love story

19. Marie and Pierre Curie - Apparently they have developed feeling mutually over courtship, their passion towards science bringing them together.











18. Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal - From the written records, Shah Jahan saw Mumtaz and decided he would marry her. Mumtaz could only feel overwhelmed at the offer. Hard to decipher the passion before marriage, but later it's known how much she meant to him.








17. Pocahontas and John Smith - This is mostly a legend and any account of him being attracted to her or developing a liking is up to imagination.












16. Salim and Anarkali - Another work of fiction, this story portrays the mutual attraction between the protagonists

15. Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy - Aah! Finally, a story where the pair had to fight a lot of situation-demanded decisions on expressing love and how they had to overcome the pride and prejudice in acknowledging one's feelings.









14. Pyramus and Thisbe - The couple who felt love mutually and died for each other.

















13. Eloise and Abelard - This story of a monk and nun, started with the man wooing a very beautiful woman.

















12. Layla and Majnun - They are soulmates. Period. Hence had a bond since childhood till death.


















11. Jane Eyre and Rochester - Wonderful example of how things start to unravel once you let down your guard. Rochester believed Jane would forget him in a flick but by saying so, he only got to hear how sincerely she loves him. A perfect example of "You never know"




10. Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler - A bizarre love story. They were never in sync. She can't get over the childish fantasy and he has taken too much of her fickleness. She was self-involved to understand the love he has for her, at the least the love she has for him.

9. Paolo and Francesca - An illicit affair of mutual interests.

8. Odysseus and Penelope - Have you waited for someone for 20 years? Well, she did. She waited without even knowing what she is waiting for. May be that's what made him the only person alive from the war. How did she know?

7. Napoleon and Josephine - Hard to contemplate their love, but you can conclude his pursuit of her is as passionate as it can get.

6. Orpheus and Eurydice - Very little known of Eurydice love and beyond measure written of and by Orpheus love.

5. Paris and Helen - A story of abduction and war. If, Helen had loved Paris or she was only prisoner, we are no where near to decide on it.






4. Tristan and Isolde - Very close to Devdas and Parvati of Indian literature. The mutual passion could not live in the reality of circumstances.

3. Lancelot and Guinevere - Another tale of adultery. People who loved each other despite marital status and suffered through the consequences.

2. Cleopatra and Mark Antony - How can we forget the sacrifices they made for each other? But how can we also forget the Julius Caeser side of her story?

1. Romeo and Juliet - Love happens at first sight and you know right then its him/her. Romeo and Juliet teach us that and also that you can go against your family and the world for that love.








With all due respect, do you believe love should happen to you the ways above? Do you turn to these stories in understanding how love will be? Most being Adultery or Forced/Convenience marriages or Politically motivated. Dating might not be Indian way and here, romance blooms mostly by chance or a guy pursuit (for a long time). So unrequited love, I define is when a person loves and does not feel loved back the same way. Then, what do you do? Open up and find out. This is me opening up about truth of historical love stories.

Now that, we decided to be open, I won't wait till last day for the question this year. This time it's gonna be simple. Yes or No.

Did you or Do you have someone in your life whom you fell for but he/she never knew? Please answer in the poll right top of my page..

Valentine Week - 7

Does love always need to be mutual? Should we call only the romantic relationship as love? Then, what is one-side love? Does it even exist?

I thought after three years of this Valentine's day ritual, I would be drained out of ideas. But it just got started. Look at the above questions that pop up so often in discussing crushes and infatuations. What do you think? Well, that's not my question for this year. But, let's look into this business of so-called one-side love.

One-side love or unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affections.

I did not say this, wiki said. I just had a panic attack reading wiki page. Is pessimism and melancholy, the only form of poetry, in fact any art that reaches its zenith? I hope not. After all I am a panglossian. But, listen to what various poets and scholars got to say.

Proust - the only successful (sustainable) love is unrequited love

Eric Berne - the man who is loved by a woman is lucky indeed, but the one to be envied is he who loves, however little he gets in return. How much greater is Dante gazing at Beatrice than Beatrice walking by him in apparent disdain

Eric Berne - Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy sooner

Dr. Baumeister - What makes a man or woman desirable, of course, is a complex and highly personal mix of many qualities and traits. But falling for someone who is much more desirable than oneself, whether because of physical beauty or attributes like charm, intelligence, wit or status is kind of mismatch prone to find their love unrequited. That such relationships are doomed.

Nietzsche - indispensable...to the lover is his unrequited love, which he would at no price relinquish for a state of indifference

Sometimes writers (including me) tend to speak for everyone, when they are just one of a hell lot. And for scientists, they play on probability and utilitarianism. Let's not overwhelm ourselves with this post and begin on the seven day journey.