It's complicated

It’s a calm evening in Café Coffee Day. Janvi is sitting at a table with her friend, Payal and colleague, Sireesha. Steaming hot coffee waits in front of her. Payal and Sireesha are engaged in a talk and trying to include Janvi as they go along. But, Janvi has her thoughts revolving around the person they are waiting for. It’s almost three years since she spoke to that person. He was her boy friend, broke up due to some issues. Janvi got engaged 10 days back and the wedding is planned in two months. Her prospective husband, Vishal, works as production designer in movies. She has always liked guys in unconventional jobs. Vishal is a good-looking chap, liked by her parents. She adores his humanity, the way he kept himself transparent. For now, the more she tried to fix her mind on Vishal, it’s finding its way out to the guy who is going to come. Remnants of the past with him were unfolding slowly.

She met him in a weird manner. Days back to her fresher year in M.B.A. She received a mail to her gmail account with photos of a baby attached. Sender asked for a response of how was the baby. She replied the sender conveying the mistake and telling that the baby was very cute, though it seemed unnecessary on her part. Sender responded back with a chat request. She came to know from him that her id differed with his aunt’s with a character. She found out his name to be Sekhar, from which she inferred him to be of a small town and old fashioned. He told that he was pursuing M.A. in history from Osmania University. She used to have casual chats whenever he pings her online, but gradually developed liking for his wit and this increased the frequency of their conversations. He asked for her photo for which she felt muddled but ultimately mailed him one. She couldn’t keep herself from the genuine feminine fervor to know how she looks and asked him the same. She was quite impressed with the style and respect with which he expressed that she was beautiful. Janvi asked his picture back. His features were as sharp as a Greek god. This incident brought them closer.

In a day of 24 hours, Janvi had been talking to him through mobile or internet for 12 hours and the rest 12 hours were wrapped in his thoughts. People around mused at her addiction but she was virtually living in a world of her and him. Designation of a just friend to him grew skeptical with her affection. Same inclination was heard from him too. Fondness and intimacy remained the same during the vacation too. She liked him for his love for today and carefree attitude. Sometimes the idea of separation in the near-future scared her but she couldn’t let that tamper the happiness with him.

Some circumstances led to squabble and difference of opinion. He once affirmed that his friends were more important to him than her when she demanded for a reason. That hurt her badly but she tried to overlook the fact to stick to him. It was high time that she had to concentrate on her final year project for which she toured the city often. Sekhar was disappointed and annoyed at the declining time spent with her. After persistent arguments, she replied rashly that M.B.A. project wasn’t like doing any petty arts degree and this couldn’t be understood with his mindset. He understood the pun she intended and retorted, “I get what you want to say and I regret that I was hanging around this long with a bigheaded churl”

“And I regret that I was talking to a boor”

“Don’t think I engulf whatever you comment”

“You can do whatever you want”

“No point in debating further. Take this as my good-bye. For your information, my father is your former dean”

Janvi held herself thick in concluding their relationship from then. Nonetheless, the memories of him distressed her. Her friends after getting to know about her association with a guy online and the break up put forth bunch of questions,

“How did you trust him?”

“Who can assure the identification of the picture he sent with his name?”

“Is there a guarantee of this person being a boy for sure?”

“Don’t you think he mentioned former dean, assuming we won’t explore it further?”

“Living in an ambiguous world like us, no one trusts a person in flesh and blood. How can you believe someone you never saw?”

“Take it that he might be truthful, is there a definite chance for you to feel the same? You might not even recognize him”

They pacified her quoting the frauds seen in the newspapers and explaining her that she should be gratified that she escaped such a bizarre. However, she remained out of contact with him from the day they fought. Whenever she felt a desire to talk to him, tinge of ego which said that he could talk if he wanted put her off. She got a job in Bangalore and residing there since 3 years. Her parents obliged for marriage and she said yes for Vishal. Presently, she is in a search for job in Hyderabad.

Couple of days back she got a call from Payal saying that she met Sekhar who is doing research in a college in Bangalore itself. Janvi didn’t have a picture of him left to confirm but Payal asked him directly about Janvi and assured. It’s Payal whose idea was this meeting. Neither Janvi nor Sekhar objected it. Sireesha who knew about him from Janvi too accompanied.

Sekhar showed up as she was lost in thoughts. He wore an over jacket and dressed like a professional photographer. Two of his friends escorted him. As she said hello, he stretched his hand for a handshake. After brief introduction of everyone, they ordered for eats. Payal initiated the conversation asking Sekhar about his father being former dean of their institution. He nodded. He had been answering with gestures wherever he could, with the use of vocabulary the least. Payal prolonged the question asking him how he is in arts. He remarked that he was interested in this from first and his father never opposed.

Silence in the place for a while made Janvi anxious if anyone would dig the past. Quickly she questioned about the research he is involved in. Conversation started with ease as he put in their work including his friends. Later they indulged in the informal talks about movies, politics and their professions. Sireesha asked in between if he has a girl friend. He smiled and said, “Yeah. Sahithi. My fellow researcher.” Janvi mentioned it would have been nice if she accompanied too. He nodded in a yes and replied, “you should have invited your fiancé too” gazing at Payal implying that he came to know about it from her. Two hours elapsed in the group’s levity.

As the girls reached the room, Payal asked Janvi, “Didn’t you see that you had not felt anything?” while Sireesha passed the comment that he was totally different from what she heard from Janvi and she couldn’t get any stroke of nostalgia in him. Not even a phrase was lying in what they spoke. She grinned and said yes. As she entered the bedroom away from them, she found herself staring in the mirror. It’s undoubtedly true what everyone said. Admiring someone you see in reality is quite distinct from fancying a virtual person because in the latter case, you perceive the personality of the guy in the fashion you want comfortably. She viewed him as a carefree, middle-class, talkative, happy-go-lucky one. In contrast he is a firm, well-off, composed, self-worthy man. She admitted that to her friends plainly. Yet there is something which she had to deal with. She always had a sense of smell of lemon when she spoke to him earlier. He ordered the same, “lemon freeze” today. This could be discarded as frivolous or simply co-incidence. But what perplexed is why her heart skipped a beat when she saw him, her hand trembled to his handshake, why she was disappointed to hear of his girlfriend and why she found it difficult to rejoice the funny chat in the group subduing the urge to look at him constantly. Doomed by her psyche swinging between past and future, she stood frozen holding the betrothal ring on her finger, unaware forever that Sekhar with Sahithi cuddled up on him dazed why he felt intensely to embrace Janvi on seeing her at Café and pitied himself for his helplessness.