"Aur waise bhi pyar hai kya, kya hai yeh pyar Payal. Hormones, Testosterone. Estrogen" - Tanu weds Manu
People over there who think love is in personal space and not an area for study, will be shocked to know that there has been extensive research in the field of psychology as well as physiology of love. Diving into psychology, there are few interesting theories I found online. Well, if you are one of those who think love is just to be experienced and not analyzed, I recommend not to proceed any further with the post.
Primarily, love was being categorized by many scholars based on the experience. Steinberg is the first one to compose love of three basic components and categorized it into 8 types with the level of each component. The basic components are Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. Intimacy is associated with bonding, the extent of closeness you experience in a relationship. Passion comprises of attraction, sexual component and such like. Commitment relates to the decision to stick to the relationship.
The picture needs to be read like this, for example, your relationship has high intimacy and passion but low on commitment, you need to check the line connecting high components, i.e romantic love. If your relationship is experiencing every element in abundance, it is called consummate love.
In addition, he describes if one is experiencing only intimacy it is liking, only passion, it is infatuation and only commitment, is empty love.
I have a theory too. I am not a great psychologist or a love doctor. From what I could observe from people around me, I felt there are three kinds of relationships which are possible in youngsters. They are Habituated, Addicted and Actual love.
Habituated starts due to getting into a relationship for the sake of having girlfriend/boyfriend. There is no attraction or attachment or missing when apart, but constant companionship for the sake of it. People tend to stay in it until there are attractions towards someone else. You can see it with people around you who follow duty of calling and meeting daily. People sometimes find it difficult to find a reason to end such relationship.
Addicted is another fallacy of love. This begins due to "care" mostly. Majorly in youngsters who stay away from home and find solace in a person who gives constant attention. Often this kind of a relationship leads to extremes of pain and pleasure. This is when people find it hard to realize it is not as what they think it is and get held up for a long time.
Actual love in youngsters is possible with a lot of understanding and commitment. Here you do not observe any mandatory calls of Habituation or possessiveness of Addiction, but enduring attachment and growing friendship. There is caring of Addiction and companionship of Habituation without the loss of self worth as in both.
I hope anything of it made sense!
Habituated starts due to getting into a relationship for the sake of having girlfriend/boyfriend. There is no attraction or attachment or missing when apart, but constant companionship for the sake of it. People tend to stay in it until there are attractions towards someone else. You can see it with people around you who follow duty of calling and meeting daily. People sometimes find it difficult to find a reason to end such relationship.
Addicted is another fallacy of love. This begins due to "care" mostly. Majorly in youngsters who stay away from home and find solace in a person who gives constant attention. Often this kind of a relationship leads to extremes of pain and pleasure. This is when people find it hard to realize it is not as what they think it is and get held up for a long time.
Actual love in youngsters is possible with a lot of understanding and commitment. Here you do not observe any mandatory calls of Habituation or possessiveness of Addiction, but enduring attachment and growing friendship. There is caring of Addiction and companionship of Habituation without the loss of self worth as in both.
I hope anything of it made sense!
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