“Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?”
“...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.”
“sometimes no matter how many eyelashes or dandelion seeds you blow, no matter how much of your heart you tear out and slap on your sleeve, it just ain't gonna happen.”
Taking from wiki, unrequited can be two types. One where the object of affection is aware of the feelings and does not reciprocate and the other where he/she is not even aware. My concentration is only second, however I want to dedicate a post for the first too.
Though the remedies listed are not quite appealing, here's a post on dealing with Rejection I found,
"Rejection comes as one of the most brutal stakes to the heart because it deals a direct blow to our ego. The ego is the inherent part of the self which holds intact our pride, esteem and self-worth. When the ego is bruised, a core element of our being is damaged. We often feel reduced to a lesser versions of ourselves. We automatically begin to blame ourselves, assuming there must be something wrong with us and criticizing the behavior that led to our rejection.
Of the many forms of rejection, being denied by a love interest is most agonizing. We are grieved by a deep sense of bitterness and spite, both against the other person and against ourselves. Ironically, though, we feel an inexplicable sense of longing -- a stronger desire towards the rejecter than ever before. As a psychologist, I've seen many become stuck in a cycle of voluntary, unrequited love. The more they were rejected, the more they "wanted" the person rejecting them. They refused to give up. Whether this strange phenomenon stems from a prehistoric gene, or it's that we're slightly masochistic, is difficult to say. What's certain, however, is that rejection can cause cycles of unhealthy emotions and behavior.
The strange chemistries of the universe work thus -- the less you care about a person, the more they care about you. And the more you care about a person, the less they seemingly care about you. It is nothing short or ironic, and sadly, most anyone who's ever been in love can vouch. Understanding the chemistry of rejection begins with acknowledging our undeniable value as human beings. To change our perceived impression of rejection, we must first solidify our self-worth." - Dr. Carmen Harra
Also, the imagination supplies enough of perfection to the "relationship", while truth is entirely different. There are primarily three reasons why we still seek out the person who rejected our love.
1. Hope - This might not be the end.
2. Masochism - I gain pleasure in the hurt caused by love
3. Stubbornness - I can't change my heart
I have spent hours in finding what to say to deal with this. From research and personal exposure, the only thing I feel is, this should be not different to a break-up. Every rule applies the same. Get hurt, get away from the person, get involved in other things. Recover and Relive and Relove.
"Rejection comes as one of the most brutal stakes to the heart because it deals a direct blow to our ego. The ego is the inherent part of the self which holds intact our pride, esteem and self-worth. When the ego is bruised, a core element of our being is damaged. We often feel reduced to a lesser versions of ourselves. We automatically begin to blame ourselves, assuming there must be something wrong with us and criticizing the behavior that led to our rejection.
Of the many forms of rejection, being denied by a love interest is most agonizing. We are grieved by a deep sense of bitterness and spite, both against the other person and against ourselves. Ironically, though, we feel an inexplicable sense of longing -- a stronger desire towards the rejecter than ever before. As a psychologist, I've seen many become stuck in a cycle of voluntary, unrequited love. The more they were rejected, the more they "wanted" the person rejecting them. They refused to give up. Whether this strange phenomenon stems from a prehistoric gene, or it's that we're slightly masochistic, is difficult to say. What's certain, however, is that rejection can cause cycles of unhealthy emotions and behavior.
The strange chemistries of the universe work thus -- the less you care about a person, the more they care about you. And the more you care about a person, the less they seemingly care about you. It is nothing short or ironic, and sadly, most anyone who's ever been in love can vouch. Understanding the chemistry of rejection begins with acknowledging our undeniable value as human beings. To change our perceived impression of rejection, we must first solidify our self-worth." - Dr. Carmen Harra
Also, the imagination supplies enough of perfection to the "relationship", while truth is entirely different. There are primarily three reasons why we still seek out the person who rejected our love.
1. Hope - This might not be the end.
2. Masochism - I gain pleasure in the hurt caused by love
3. Stubbornness - I can't change my heart
I have spent hours in finding what to say to deal with this. From research and personal exposure, the only thing I feel is, this should be not different to a break-up. Every rule applies the same. Get hurt, get away from the person, get involved in other things. Recover and Relive and Relove.
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