Happy Valentine's Day!!!

And so, just like that, its been 10 years since I started Valentine week. Feels like yesterday when me and 2 friends in IIT Madras roamed on the roads of our campus, me scaring one of them that I would be out proposing a random guy in a week (I wasn't going to). There it started the question of ways to propose someone. When I go back and watch those posts, over the years my tone changed, few of my views changed but I think the value I place on the concept did not change. Between quizzes in college, group studies in MBA, crazy work schedules in my first job and when I did not have energy to even raise a finger, Valentine week kept going.

Only thing I wish by writing these posts is that people should not feel foolish or embarrassed or immature to talk about love and its failings. I guess its about the vulnerability that is dead-given about love. People are not equipped to deal with vulnerability, for that matter even accept it. I am not any different but still I would want my next generation to be (I must be getting old to even say that).

There is a couple I know whom I asked this year’s question. The wife mentioned she was moved by how during their fights her husband, then boyfriend came to her from wherever he is, to just continue the fight in person. He said he loved how she knows about him and how that is reflected in the gifts she gives. So, the little things are not restricted to start of the relationship. They keep going on.

And there is another couple so very near and dear to me. The husband is always frustrated with the way wife carries a lot of stuff when they have to go out and wife cribs about his driving even if its just traffic. One of the bickering sessions in the front row of the car, in the middle of argument, husband says, “Put on the seat belt, the police are particular here” and continued to complain.

Well she continued to cut him off, giving words back, pulling the seat belt and trying to find the latch. She was not able to find it because of the saree she wrapped around in hurry. She blurted “What happened, did you remove the latch?” and that made the husband laugh a little, abruptly. That was a very profound moment for me. Its another story that they continued their fight after that too. They have been married for 29 years now and that’s my parents.

It would be wonderful to find someone who can keep us interested even after decades. We have to be open to notice the little things that happen in our lives to find that charm over and over again.

I can’t be unfair and not share mine. So, here it goes. I think the thing I got attracted to, is the comforting voice. I am a lot of times in anxious mode (everyone knows) and listening to that voice drove away a lot of tension and made me feel relaxed. Words didn’t matter, only the sound of it.

Happy Valentine’s Day !!

Valentine Week - 2

Here are the stories I heard and loved.

Story 1:

My husband and I were part of same training batch. A lot of us in my batch were not local to chennai and we got to hangout a lot as a group during the first few months of training. My husband was the local bakra with a good old Omni, that we all used to go out in! So basically we got to spend a lot of time together and know each other.

Its tough to say that there are just few things i liked about him. But, if i have to mention a few, it might be

1. He was charismatic, intellectual, and attached to family

2. respects women and believes that women should be independent and should not be stuck to home.

3. person of high values, forward thinker, disciplined and God fearing

4. Never smoked or touched alcohol which i was particular about.

Lastly, he used write letters  which I treasure till date.

Oh yeah.. He is actually not that yoyo guy. Would be happy with a laptop, comfortable couch and some music. But then during those days he used to organize a lot of outings with friends so we could hangout ever more 😃. He had even planned an entire trip to munnar with 25 of us, so we could spend more time together. But didnt realize this hidden agenda for a very long time.

Story 2

·         Catching my hand when I am scared though I didn't ask him to

·         Without saying a word making me feel I am not alone in anything

·         Silently protecting me, letting me have fun without boundaries and staying around since I will need him later on (like when I  drunk or tired)

·         When he said any of his celebrations are incomplete without me (never expected me to reciprocate)

·         When he alters his plans to just accommodate an hour with me

·         Talking with me all night since I am not able to sleep

·         Got me some childhood chocolates which I thought didn't exist anymore ( when I knew he is paying attention to all little things I say)

·         Making me do unconventional things like winking in a train or giving flying kiss in a public place or dancing with unknown crowd

Story 3

romantic gestures. ..Unconditional love & kindness....has time for pleasant conversations often.

Story 4

I remember her adjusting her wavy hair away from her face... She used to slide those curly strands behind her ear... She would do it with such elegance and grace... Used to stare at her like anything.... I sware I could look at her for eons... Sheer beauty!!!

Sometimes she finds out that I'm staring...

A simple question with her eyes "Enna?"

And I'm like "Onnum illa" and heads down with a smile...

I dono what to call this

But for me it was happiness

I used to feel out of this world

But she is one soul who can understand the unspoken words by having a glance at my eyes!

Story 5

I toh like everything bey😋

The way he talks, walks, eats, sleeps,  fights etc etc

When I met him the second time, I saw him walk around the room.  He was speaking in Telugu about some office work.

I was flat that very moment the way he was walking, talking and his hand gestures 😍😍

Also, the way he strokes his hair like SRK 🤩🤩

Story 6

The common ideas, Listening, time spent, some kind of validation to my thoughts and ideas and choices, making me overcome the thought of not being enough. It's always incremental

Story 7

I would say her personality, simplicity and when we met, we could talk about everything

Story 8

Friendly and jovial nature, boldness, Traditional thinking when it comes to customs, food, dressing etc.

I had a fight with her long back, wen she was carrying. She was trying to pacify me after the fight.  I ignored her, and unexpectedly she started crying. I still feel guilty of making her cry that day (made her cry many times after that too😜) .  But it was also an incident which made me realise that how much love and attention she expected from me.

Story 9

Actually i love his dimples

After our engagement we met at one restaurant in his hometown. On that day he gifted me a watch. He was too shy while giving me that and words not coming out properly. I actually attracted to his innocence and his innocent dimples

Story 10

How comfortable I felt around her , her warm and genuine smile which symbolizes general happiness and her comfortable ease in situations  , her incredibly charming personality ,  her guffaws that is undeniably attractive 

Specifics

• When she takes care of me when I’m sick and end up catching my viral a couple of days after
• When she plays with kids in my apartment and goes back to being a 5 year old herself
• Fact that she has big ambitious dreams for her/our future
• The way she gets excited over her mom's food and eats like a horse instead of eating like a bird
• Very fact that she is capable of quickly calming me down with her hug when I have had the worse days
• Her voice when she's sleepy
• The way she is protective over her parents

Story 11

Their willingness to settle for less in life 😇

Story 12

The fact that what is important to me matters to him, remembers them and indirectly shows it. He cares for my friends and family more than I do as he knows that they matter the most to me. Which was one of the things which most impressed me before the wedding.

My opinions matter. I am not taken for granted. For someone like me, I think that means that I feel valued and respected..

Him scolding me when I don't take care of myself and small surprises like, making sure he has dinner ready for me when I text him that I had a long day.

Or him explaining things where I go wrong with patience and tolerating my impatience.

One thing definitely was the proposal I had.. (Romantic proposal in arranged marriage)

Story 13

Simplicity and honesty I guess

And for tomorrow, that's a surprise.

Valentine Week - 3

I didn’t want to help my friends when I asked my Valentine week question by giving examples. I just wanted to know how they react, really explore how they perceive little things in relationships to be. But movies provide hell lot of instances to derive from. I am jotting down a few that came across my mind today. These are only one of the many things that define the chemistry.

Khushi (Telugu): The scene where the hero declines to lift the shirt of heroine for an injection. Have you seen the look on the heroine’s face? That’s what I am talking about, attraction. Did she know prior hand that she likes a guy who would do so? No, its just the moment and a revelation about the importance he gives to her.

Mirchi (Telugu): Have you seen the short scene of Prabhas observing Anushka in the middle of a song where she serves his father? A girl who cares about the people around her is desirable to him and that moment he felt her personality.

Jab We Met (Hindi): Remember the scene on the terrace where Geet and Aditya will be hiding before the elopement? Geet gives her philosophy behind acting according to her heart. Aditya did see her crazy side before, did enjoy her innocence and childishness. But knowing where all this comes from makes a greater impact in that scene.

27 Dresses (Hollywood): When all she hears all day is requests and demands, when suddenly someone tells her its okay to say no, the girl definitely feels more comfortable with that someone.

Seducing Mr. Perfect (Korean): Sometimes, hearing someone say what we wanted to hear makes all the difference. Remember the scene after the heroine dumps her beau and talks to the hero? The minute he utters exactly the words that ran in her head, she gives a sweet smile. However, the moment he actually yells at her out of concern leads to stronger feelings.

Jab Harry Met Sejal (Hindi): No matter what, I am Shah rukh fan and his romantic expressions are world-renowned. But this one is ultra special. The scene where the couple hide behind the windows of a boat to escape from the goons, the expression on Shah rukh face, its memorable. Not a word is spoken but his feelings are crystal clear. There is absolutely nothing significant happening there but the proximity, her dependency on him overpowers the dire situation too in his mind.

Valentine Week - 4

Okay now. The undisputed element of attraction between male and female, physical appearance. There are only 40-50 million completely blind people in the world and rest all very well have something or the other that impressed them in their partner physically. While psychologists to neighbour aunties might have given enough knowledge to people on these characteristics, I personally found from people and surroundings, something else altogether. Here is the summary.

Voice: A deep baritone like Alan Rickman or Benedict Cumberbatch and sweet, melodious like Mandy Moore or Shreya Ghoshal. Well, that’s what we would think but no. People are complex, a comforting voice from a male and a deep voice from female (like Sai Pallavi) does the trick too.

Hair: What’s with Indian men’s obsession over long hair (you know in addition to saris)? A friend of mine is looking for a lady with long hair (and voice like Momina. Let me know if anyone found such being). Well again, can’t settle on this since another friend of mine was happy just to see the small strand on the girl’s face pulled back.

Laugh: There is something very contagious about a plain-hearted laugh. Anyone can fall for that. One of my friends mentioned how he got attracted to his wife’s guffaws (he called them so).

Dimples: Now that’s my favorite too (:P). I guess it is for many women out there, as well as men. The smile just goes to next level, doesn’t it?

Smile: There is some never ending mystery in a tiny smile. It is the universal language and it is a clear message of happiness. People do love having smiles around (Unless it is a serial killer or Ram Gopal Varma) that brightens the day, especially men.

Surprisingly the usual suspect eyes did not get mentioned, hey, the sample isn’t that big or diverse or reliable or explicit. Strong arms or long legs and stuff like that are only mentioned by singles.

The funny thing is that these are just items much like ingredients and how they turn to be attractive to someone is a secret recipe.

Valentine Week - 5

So, before we go into little things, what are the big things? Well, it might be a very subjective thing and I haven’t asked around or Googled for this. But my thought, here it goes.

• Monogamy: As much as it is taken for granted, it tends to be a question. We just can only trust it exists in our relationship.

• In sickness: Whatever may be the state you get together in, however things turn into, sticking together in sickness isn’t easy.

• Parents: In India or may be anywhere in the world, standing up for the loved one in front of parents is not everyone’s cup of tea

• Personal freedom: Relationships demand accommodating another person in your schedule as a prerequisite. It comes at the cost of giving up on some (may be large) amount of me-time

• Commitment: Recently I came across this beautiful quote, “Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you” Can’t sum it up better than that. It takes me back to my favorite movie “Orange” (cant think of a valentine week without its mention or mere thought). The flower pot is a symbol for commitment, building up broken things.

While on some level, we all tend to appreciate these, may be in different measures but we do. But little things can easily be overlooked but they are the daily boosters to keep the romance alive.

Valentine Week - 6

So as usual, millennial in me, looked through Google first to find the actual things people find attractive in the opposite sex. After all, Google has the power of numbers. But apparently attraction is gender based according to Google.

I guess not all websites concur on many things but have few repeated themes. Women mostly find sense of humour, drive, chivalry, good listening attractive in a guy. On the other hand, Men mostly fall for voice, smile, manners, good listening in a girl. Hey, I am not saying these. Google said so.

Well I have few problems with the lists.

Observation 1: Most of the lists include traits generally attributed to opposite sex. For example, men are generally considered ambitious and so if a woman exhibits this quality, it is assumed to be attractive to men. Women are generally considered to be shy in approach and when a man is shy, it is presumed to be attractive.

Observation 2: These lists try to undermine societal constructs. I wonder why, readership, brownie points for being non-judgemental? For example, they say men need not be sculpted or courageous to win a girl. While women need not be skinny or nibble at food or well behaved to be perceived as attractive.

Observation 3: Another major problem for me is that list includes contradictory statements. Why would an ambitious guy have time to listen to all your small things? Why would a quirky girl have good table manners? A guy might not be risk taking if he is protective of people around and girl might not be curvy if she is self-conscious.

Observation 4: A big chunk of qualities mentioned in the lists are physical attributes. Surprise! That’s not what my results say.

The beauty of the truth is there is no gender bias in attraction. Science or probability does not explain our individual preferences or the timing which lead to attraction. And you might have observed in the start of the reading that good listening is common between sexes in the lists and that I completely agree with. People want to be heard. Give them that if you really care about them. Attraction just follows.

Valentine Week - 7

“It is always boy meets a girl, they fall in love, they live happily ever after or part miserably”

Action, drama, thriller, horror even if any of these genres leave out the details, they could run on the story. But a love story is always only alive with the details. It is the little things that make sense.

People remember the ice cream scene in the movie Khushi (Telugu) or the Karwa chauth scene in DDLJ, the iconic Titanic pose from Titanic, of course. I absolutely adore this line from the novel “the fault in our stars”.

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once"

Love happens when you are not noticing. We detect physical attraction in the moment, we plan our dating life but falling in love is entirely different ball game.

So, this time I want to go into the depths of relationships, to find those little things that matter, that change the course of the heart a bit at a time without its knowledge. The inspiration behind the theme is a video from Matthew Hussey, the dating coach from UK. Watch it here

Valentine week has been always special for me and I write about love because I am madly, passionately, hopelessly in love with love. I believe miracles do happen around, magic does exist between two people and soulmates is a plausible concept. And it all boils down to the little things that build relationships. I can’t wait to share the happiest times of the people I spoke to.

Meant to be

Recently I was pondering over this term, "Meant to be". Each of us has used it at some point of time. I suspect that my entire college life I had used only that to console my heart broken friends. Of course to myself. To actually say it out loud, I had based an entire relationship on that, embarrassingly so. How do we decide what is "meant to be"? To begin with, what do we mean when we say meant to be?

It has got some major assumptions. There is a predestined path for each of us. It is decided already, how our future going to turn out to be. We are just blind people grazing through the bright world, which has got all the answers of our existence. Sometimes, by a moment of sight or something we touch, this truth is revealed to us. The 'Meant to be". OK. This is beyond acceptable to me. I am a strict follower of free will. This theory reduces free will to a joke.

But why are people buying this stuff? The love, patience and effort required in a relationship are discarded as mere by products of so-called meant to be. Isn't it great to feel that "we are together because we liked each other so much and could not stand any other way of life rather than with each other"? Doesn't that give you strength as opposed to being part of someone else' plan?

I guess not. The underlying power of this "Meant to be" is our basic need for a higher power. A guide to our lost lives. We like to believe that our lives are not drifting away direction less, wasted in course of time. So, we love the idea of someone far greater than us approving of our choices in life, a career, a dream house or our life partner. Moreover, there is endless chaos in love. I have seen many relationships, that ended in marriage, suffer through patches of time when they were sure that things were going downhill. Anything pertaining to heart is messy, all that it wants is twisted.

With such ever-puzzling tone in relationships, it is soothing to think that the one sure shot way of finding if we are heading towards "Happily Ever After" (another cliche), is to WAIT. It could be for a dazzling neon sign of "Meant to be" or an inner search for our own stand.

Happy Valentine's Day!!! (Belated)

FIDAA.. Music by Shaktikanth Karthick..

 

VACHINDE.. Sung by Madhupriya, Ramky.. Lyrics by Ashok Teja Suddala..

Vachinde..

Mella Mellaga Vachinde.. Cream Bisket uu Esinde..

Gammuga Kursoniyade.. Kuduruga Nilusoniyade

Sanna Sannaga Navvinde Kunuke Gayab Jeshinde

Mudde Notiki Pokunda Masth Disturb Jesindee

Pilla Renukaa Pilagadochindee

Dinner annade Date uu annade

Yelu Patti Polu Tirigi Ninnu Ulta Seedha chesindey

Magavallu Masth Chalu (3) Maska koduthu untare

Nuvu Yennapoosa lekka karigithe anthe sangathee

O sari sare antu O sari Sorry antu

maintain nuvve jesthe Life antha Paduntade

Aya baboi entha podugo (3) Mudhulu letta ichudee

Aya baboi entha podugooo Mudhulu letta ichudee

Thana mundu nichenesthe kaani Andhade

Paruvale nadum Patti Paiketthi Mudde pette

Techniques ye Nakunayile Pareshaane Neekakkarle

Pilla Renukaa Pilagadochinde Vachinde Vachinde

Dinner annade Date uu annade

Yelu Patti Polu Tirigi Ninnu Ulta Seedha chesindey

O Pilla nuvu inka Nela nidichi Gaali motorlo…

OOSUPODHU.. Sung by Hemachandra.. Lyrics by Chaitanya Pingali..

Oosupodhu oorukodhu Undaneedhu vellaneedhu

Vinthakhaidu naakila emito

Soyi ledhu solaneedhu Veedipodhu cheri raadhu

Chintha podu naakila emito

Naanundi naa praname ila jaruthonde

Thappena ee yathana

Nee vaipu ravalaneAla urukuthonde

Aagedena ee alochana

Nee thalapule vadhalavu Nannu nidhuralonu

Aa marupulo theliyaka Nanne vethikinaanu

Valla kadhu paalu podhu Aaganeedhu saaganeedhu

Venta raadhu naakila emito

 Vela kaadhu veelu ledhu Ooha kaadhu Orchukodhu

Chentha ledhu naakila emito

Naa gundelo thondhare Nanne niluvaneedhe

Yedhonaadu neetho cheppeyana

Nee pilipule kalaluga Nannu tharumuthaaye

Aa kalavaram melakuvai Nanne allukundhe

HEY PILLAGAADA.. Sung by Sindhoori, Sinov Raj.. Lyrics by Vanamali..

Hey pillagaada endiro pillagaada Naa gundekaada lolli

Hey monagaada sampakoi moratoda Naa manasantha gilli

Gira gira thille neelona Bira bira sudulai thirigena

Nilavadha nuvvem chesthunna Dorakanu andaa neekaina

Kadhile kadhile chinuke kadhile

Musire oka musurai ilakaala ikaate

Urike urike jathagaa urike

Manase ninu marichi tanakaala ikaate

Soyi leni haayilona Kammukundhi gaali vaana

Emavthundho emo lona

Neeku thelisena neeloni hairaana

Nannu koolchena naalona jadi vaana

EDO JARUGUTONDI.. Sung by Aravind Srinivas, Renuka.. Lyrics by Sirivennela Seetharamaiah Sastry..

Thanalo unnadhedho Yedurugane unnadhi

Aina manasu danni Polchalekunnadhi

Thaanem vethukuthondho Dorikinatte unnadhi

Aina cheyyi chaachi Andhukokunnadhi

Rammantunna pommantunna

Vasthu unna vachesthunna

Edho Jaruguthondhi Yedhalo alajadi

Edho aduguthondhi Yedhare nilabadi

Gundelo idhemito Kondantha ee bhaaram

Undaneedhu oorike Ye chota e nimisham

Vintunnava naa mounaanni Yemo yemo chebuthoo undhi

Karigipothu unnadhi Innalla ee dhooram

Kadhaliponu annadhi Kalalaanti ee sathyam

Naalokamlo Anni unna Edho lopam nuvvenemo

Aa pai dhooram em lekunna

Sandhehamlo unnanemo

FIDAA.. Sung by Hemachandra, Malavika.. Lyrics by Chaitanya Pingali..

Entha Dooramo Ila Antha Cheruve Kadha

Okka Sari Thongi Chudava

Enni Dhaarulo Ala Vaakilayega edha

Okka Sari Thongi Chudava

Maa Vaipu Vennele Meku Vekuva Avunule

Oka Ningele Manaki Unnadhi

Naa Kalala Thotalo Maarani Ruthuvulu Unnave

Nuvu Vachi Unde Chotu Unnadhe…

Fida ..Fida.. Fida..Fidaa.. Neeke

Padhe Padhe Oke rodhe maade

Aakasam Guppitlo Chikkedhena

Meghalu Haddulo Undedhenaa

Gundello Aagevi Kappevela Reppalona

Aa Matram Nenento Ardham Kaana

Nee Jedala Paayalo gunde Chikkukunnadhe

Mari Rammanna Rakunnadhe

Adagali Ninnani Vaddu Aagipommani

Oka Jhanjhatam Champestunde

Gunde Thalupu Thattaku

Ninnu Naalo Vethakaku

Maataite lolone Aapestana

Badhaite nithone Cheppeseyana

Navvaite neenundi Daachesthana..Daachesthanaa..

Manasayye Mounanga Edustunnaa

HEY MISTER.. Sung by MC Chetan, Deepak.. Lyrics by Vanamali..

Good Morning Hello U S A

Chal Vegam Nee Address Ye

Chedam Ee Jouney Ye Dilse

Ee Life Ye Oka Bonus Ye

Roju Ika Bindas Ye

Don’t Miss Neekochina

Ee Chance Ye

Nee Kalalatho Selfie Dhigu

Nijam Avadha Doubt Enduku

Ee Zindagi Cheyandhuko

Ika Aagakoi Let’s Go

Hey Mister Raa Mister

Hey Mister Yo Mister

Chal re Chey Nuvu Choice I say

Kaalam do Not For Sale

Daily Thappadhule Ee Race Ye

One by one Nuvu Eeroje

Peelcheyi Nee Prathi Aase

Neelo Ika Raadha Aa Josheee

Nee Kantitho Nuve Nacheyi

Nee Kosame Raadhaa Machii

Dosti karo aa choopulto

Masti maro yaaro yaaro

O fidaa.. Entha dooramo ilaa Antha chedhuve kadha Okka saari tongi choodava Enni daarulo ala Vaakilayiga edha Okka sari tongi choodava Maa vaipu vennele meeku vekuva avunule Oka ningele manakunnadhi Naa kalala thotalo Maarani ruthuvulu unnave Nuvvu vachunde chotu unnadhey Fidaa fidaa fida fida neeke Padhe padhe oke roje maadhe Entha dooramo ila Antha cheruve kadha Okka sari thongi choodava Aakasam guppitlo chikkedhena Meghalu haddulo undedhenaa.. Gundello aagevi kappevela reppalona Aa matram nenento artham kaana Nee jadala paayalo Gunde chikkukunnadhe Mari rammana raakunnadhe Adagali ninnani vadhu aagipomani Oka janjatam champestunde.. Gunde talupu tattaku Ninnu naalo vethakakku Na naa naa… Maate thelelonna aapestanaa Badha ayithe neethone cheppeseyana Navve ayithe nee nundi daachesthana Daachesthanaa.. Manasayye mounanga yedustunnaa Nee jadala paayalo Gunde chikkukunadhe Mari rammana raakunadhe Adagali ninnani vadhu aagipomani Oka janjatam champestunde.. Entha dooramo ilaa Antha chedhuve kadha Okka saari tongi choodava Enni daarulo ala Vaakilayiga edha Okka sari tongi choodava Maa vaipu vennele meeku vekuva avunule Oka ningele manakunnadhi Naa kalala thotalo Maarani ruthuvulu unnave Nuvvu vachunde chotu unnadhey Fidaa fidaa fida fida neeke.. Padhe padhe oke roje maadhe Fidaa fida fidaa fidaa neeke hey.. (x2) Surli Lyrics: http://telugu.surli.in/fidaa-title-song-lyrics-fidaa-2017/#ixzz4t19EVWZx

Read more: Fidaa Title Song Lyrics – Fidaa (2017) | Varun Tej, Sai Pallavilyrics http://telugu.surli.in/fidaa-title-song-lyrics-fidaa-2017/

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Hmmm.. This year I passed on my confusion to my friends. Two simple questions it is.

"What comes to your mind when I say modern dating? N how is it different from traditional dating?"

I have huge consensus this year compared to any other survey I have done. So, a little analysis brought out following repeated themes in the responses.

1. No commitment

2. Sex

3. Online dating

No one wakes up one day, thinking now I would go around breaking hearts (may be except psychopaths). When we were forming opinions, we forget the part where we ourselves are integral in the "them". Commitment to what, really? I believe things changed in terms of our priorities and opinion leaders. Before it was from your family/close peers or further someone in news. Now, Google tells us what to do, what to wear, who to see, what to listen, whom to love, how to cure, why to live. Not exactly Google, but billions of voices trying to be heard, just like mine right now. People tend to be lost when they have no ONE philosophy in life. Good or Bad. Problem is now, we want to be good, always right and right. You see where that leads us. Nowhere.

In times like Aziz Ansari parents', they were looking for partners, now we looking for passion, which is a good thing we were programmed to believe. "Do what you are passionate about". Passion is uncontrollable by definition and cognitive control is what makes us human. Look for passion, its not a problem. But happiness is also a very sweet thing to be longing for.

As far as my opinion on change goes, I do not believe anything changed. Broken hearts are more vocal now, that's it. Twisted romances were silenced and in grape vine before but now on Twitter feed. Let's not forget that movies only divinize pen pal relationships. Watch any old art flick, you will see. Even if there is change, people not falling in love at first sight, is a good thing. Not committing life to a person we barely know is a good thing. Not letting past dictate the life is a good thing.Preferring someone who can be around you is a good thing.

Only change I would like to see is honesty. You never know, tell that guy/girl you are seeing someone else too and can't decide at the moment. He/She might surprise you (in any way). Let's be honest of what we are and what we feel, to others and most importantly us.

Fairy tales are not opposite of modern dating scenario. I think they are on the same side. Both reveal how imperfect we are. Meeting someone you like, falling in love and expecting a happily ever after or meeting someone you like, incapable of dealing with your emotional see-saw and quitting before making an effort, aren't they same as hell?

When I was going around asking people these questions, I had to comment to a friend that he and his wife are made for each other. He said "We know". WE KNOW. Do you think there would be such an audacious and beautiful statement if he hadn't taken a chance?

Happy Valentine's Day Folks!!!
 
Pata (Old) dating was to find the right partner. Kotta (New) dating is.... Lets have fun.... And if she is the right partner then its a bonus - Ashwin

Laziness for Going out and talking to people. Traditional - it was difficult to find a date. And you put in all kind of effort to keep up the relationship. Nowadays- its so easy to find a date so they don't have to put up with anyone. They have all the options they want. They can shift people whenever they like - Leena

Casual dating, To know each other's interests, Compatibility. May be when you feel someone is interesting to you, you try to meet them more, know them if they will be compatible with you etc. For changing it to a committed relationship. I know dating. I don't know modern - Kavya

Okay.. So u think dating scenario changed with time or its the same as before? - It's the same I guess - Ashish

I always felt.. dating is for romantic relationships which lead to marriage N only of they find something very different they breakup. But these days it's different. Marriage is like a big think even after 2 years of dating. Seems wierd. Commitment is a big thing. Companionship was more important then. Now physical intimacy also plays role. It sometimes starts with just physical needs - Shravani

It's more physical rather than emotional .... People are no more feeling shy to choose after testing all the aspects they want in the partner. Carefree .... Do want you want. You can date for fun or love or just companionship. It's ur choice. And when I say carefree first thing that comes to my mind is befikre movie- Anonymous Female

Going with a temporary relationship in mind from the outset. - Deepa

No strings attached/dating apps/changing girls/guys frequently. cuz no body is ready for commitment and the fact that most of them are broken hearts they find it difficult to get emotionally attached. Sex doesn't have a meaning. Romance doesn't happen like mostly. convenient companionship - Keerthi

Apudu (Then) distance used to not matter but now it does. I guess, Love was blind. Now it got eyes? Ears and everything. Commitment levels are less. Ppl want to explore options - Bindu

Umm...fear and lack of commitment In modern dating.. I am talking on indian basis. Lot of people just go for it without even slightest commitment and then are scared to make the call. Which can throw apart whatever they had.. - Tanuja

Sexxxx. Diff is in d name.. but not in modern/traditional. More Physical advancement, less break up time. - Vijay

Okapudu konchem emotional attachments vundevi (There used to be emotional attachment back then, as in they would like to take forward). Ante they would like to take it forward. And there's some effort they put in to make things work out. Ipudu work out avvakapothe vadhileyadam (Now they give up if it does not work out). Ante it's OK to break up types lo. Break up is some kind of fashion laga - Monica

Tinder. Dating antene modern. Thers nothing traditional about it ani na opinion (Dating is itself modern. My opinion is there's nothing traditional about it) - Siri

Stupidity. Ppl cant go out and find junta .. Instead they sit with lap or phone and think  they will find love. Not even love. You really don't know my feelings on this current topic. In same way, you really don't connect emotionally when you try all these online things. They are good for time pass. In order to know,what the opposite person feels, its always better to be right next to,them. - Sachin

didnt know that there are 2 diff kinds of datings. i think dating itself is modern. i equate dating to having a choice who u wanna be with. - Chandu

Hookups ..  Preconceived notion on somebody from their social media profiles - Vignesh

Modern days or in current world,  dating has become more common and people are open about their relation. And for some reason if it doesn't work with a particular boy or girl..  They just move on.. This is what I noticed from discussions with my cousins  and other kids who are in 18 to 25 yards old now. I feel people do feel...  But move on much faster...  I felt dear zindagi movie depicts this very well. But are they experiencing the real love for each other is something I doubt...  Could be the reason for more breakups... - Sushmitha


Everything is fast. Online like tinder matching , going to bars for date. Live in. Girls paying on first date. Girls asking boys out. Endless chatting instead of talking on phone. Making more travel plans with each other. More open about relationship - Shivam

Picking up from clubs. Modern dating is similar to traditional dating in many ways but it's quick. Lesser time to commit and lot of confusion to commit. Basically people doesn't want to commit in modern dating easily. And more thing is there is fuck up in Indian system. People who are dating in India always have a back up of arranged marriage, so they are not actually that serious when compared to Western states, where they date to get married eventually - Puneeth

When i think of writing about this a question comes to mind, how do i differentiate between the two ?? Am i so old that i have seen both the sides ?? or was i on the cusp when the transition happened.

Just the other day there was a discussion and ppl where deciding on what gifts to buy for Valentines. Options were ranging from flowers, cakes etc but buying will happen online and thats when i realized that this was when the transition happened. Internet among all things has changed the dating experience altogether. It even helps to find you a date a task traditionally entrusted to your social circle. The convenience of having everything at the click of the mouse has made things easier for us in this regard as well. Try and visualize yourself going through gift shops to buy that perfect gifts, hopping through flower shops to find the fresh flower for your lover.....all of this has been replaced now. there are dedicated sites in each of these areas to help you out. Instead of shops you browse sites. that for me is how modern dating has changed. On a personal note though all this internet thing is helpful, would still prefer the old school way which i feel has more of a personal touch. but hey thats just me :) - Anonymous male

Sources:

http://www.newlovetimes.com/a-guide-to-modern-dating-terms-you-didnt-know-you-needed/

http://www.vagabomb.com/Slang-Terms-to-Update-Your-Modern-Dating-Dictionary/

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/dating-relationship-terms-terms-what-they-mean-game-ghosting-benching-dtr-fbo-thirst-trap-a7486511.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/02/dating-language_n_4338743.html

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/india-today-sex-survey-most-indian-women-find-premarital-and-extramarital-sex-unacceptable/1/206292.html