Saturday, February 9, 2013

Valentine week - 6



When you speak of realizing love for someone, you find signs. One of the most important and beautiful sign is Blushing. Maria blushed after dancing with Georg Von Trapp (The Sound of Music) and became aware of her feelings for him. It's a common thing. So I wanted to delve into depth about why is that so and is it really so. 



Blush is defined as reddening of the face as a sign of embarrassment or shame. a uniquely human trait  -  eluded even Charles Darwin who called it 'the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions'. While the psychology of blushing remains elusive, we do understand the physical process involved. Basically, an involuntary reaction of our sympathetic nervous system causes the blood vessels in our face to dilate. This increases blood flow to the area, resulting in a color that ranges from light pink to dark red. Because it is involuntary, it is something we cannot control, despite our best efforts. We blush after doing something socially embarrassing. In general, Not only are blushing people viewed as more trustworthy, they actually are more trustworthy, according to a study.

Beware, excessive blushing is a disease which needs attention and medical support.



There are three primary theories of why people in love blush.


1. Evolution/Attraction: If we take our cue from apes, rosy cheeks are crucial in the dating game, says a new study. Scientists at Stirling University in Great Britain have found that primates prefer mates with red faces. A rosy glow might also act as a similar cue in humans, say the British researchers, sending a message of good health.


2. Sign of loyalty: Neuroscientists have noted that women blush more than men and therefore women may use it to demonstrate their honesty to men and foster trust. 'Blushing it tell you that I can't cuckold you,' V.S Ramachandran from the University of California said. 
'If you ask me about infidelity I can't lie - my blush gives me away.'

3. Pleasure: MRI scans of the brain have shown that there’s more activity in those parts of the brain that are concerned with pleasure and arousal. That’s the result of two neurotransmitter hormones. There are other hormones involved as well, which are secreted from the posterior part of the pituitary. These cause your blood pressure to go up and the blood flow increases to your cheeks – and that’s why you blush.

These are just theories and no solid explanation has been given till date on blushing.  

Well, also there are scientific proofs that people in love experience butterflies in stomach, loss of sleep, obsession and suppressed social judgement. All in all, love makes one crazy.

If someone thinks absence of these signs mean you are not in love, read what Shakespeare gotta say here.

As you like it, Act 3 Scene 2

ORLANDO.
I am he that is so love-shaked: I pray you tell me your remedy.

ROSALIND.
There is none of my uncle's marks upon you; he taught me how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes I am sure you are not prisoner.

ORLANDO.
What were his marks?

ROSALIND.
A lean cheek; which you have not: a blue eye and sunken; which you have not: an unquestionable spirit; which you have not: a beard neglected; which you have not: but I pardon you for that, for simply your having in beard is a younger brother's revenue:-- then your hose should be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and every thing about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man; you are rather point-device in your accoutrements, as loving yourself than seeming the lover of any other.

ORLANDO.
Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.

ROSALIND.
Me believe it! you may as soon make her that you love believe it; which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to confess she does: that is one of the points in the which women still give the lie to their consciences.

(In simpler English)

ORLANDO
Well, I’m the man you’re speaking of. Please, tell me your cure.

ROSALIND
But you don’t have any of the symptoms my uncle told me about. He taught me how to recognize a man in love, and you’re not a prisoner of love, I’m sure.

ORLANDO
What did he say the symptoms were?

ROSALIND
A thin face, which you don’t have; a sleepless, sunken eye, which you don’t have; an irritable temper, which you don’t have; a neglected beard, which you don’t have—but that might not be so telling, since you don’t have much beard anyway. Your stockings should be falling down around your ankles, your hat flying off your head, your sleeves unbuttoned, your shoes untied, and everything about you demonstrating carelessness and misery. But you’re no such man. You’re so neat and well put-together that you look like you love yourself more than anyone else.

ORLANDO
Young boy, I wish I could make you believe that I’m in love.

ROSALIND
Make me believe it? You might as well make the one you love believe it, which she’s more likely to do than admit that she does—that’s one of the ways that women fool their own consciences.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Valentine week - 7



Odette: I see him smiling and my knees start buckling. I see inside him and my doubts are gone.
Derek: She started out as such an ugly duckling, and suddenly became a swan.
Odette: So happy to be here...
Derek: Til now I never knew...
both together: ...it was you I've been dreaming of.
— Swan Princess 



The cycle now is at the start of a relationship. I meant, the theme for this Valentine week is going to be the beginning of a love story, after proposal and break-up. I guess I don’t like things in their normal order. When I mean beginning, it is not when the two people meet or they express their love. The word coined for this is Love Epiphany.

For lack of better definitions, I stick with the one by a website on TV series.

"When a character realizes he/she is in love with another character. This is not when the character confesses this to that other character or anyone else, but when the character realizes it him/herself. Often this can be when a character had feelings already and realized this has blossomed into love, or when a character has been in a denial about these feelings until this moment. Now this doesn't necessarily lead to a relationship. (Often this could be just unrequited, if not forever, at least for the moment, or just in his/her mind) " [Edited]

The process of realizing love or love epiphany (I mean only romantic love in these posts) for a person is not always a beautiful journey. For few definitely it is butterflies in stomach, sparkling eyes, blushing cheeks or the feet that left the ground or the world, which is painted in pink. But for majority, it is more of a shock than surprise. It could be a moment before parting, a moment after some third person enters into picture, a moment in old age or (touch wood) a moment after departed. However, it will always be the moment you remember as long as you live. 

In the era of Facebook where love is just "luv" and an overly abused word in texts, why we still seek it in depth? I heard somewhere, it is because love is as mysterious as it was ages ago. I guess it is. Why would else it makes the most cynical, logical, critical people stammer over talking of it's beginning? Oops, did I spill beans about the final post? Now, I definitely did!

That’s the short introduction to the story coming up. So as usual it’s going to be a weeklong marathon with finale on Valentine’s Day.